598 managers voted up one question this month: does anyone else find the emotional labor of managing people completely exhausting? The comments underneath read like a confession booth. Here is the invisible second job that empties leaders, and what actually steadies it.

You walk in fine. Then you see your boss's face, and your whole day shifts. That reaction is not weakness. It is your nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do, and there is a way to get your day back.

She kept her voice even in meetings. Answered messages within the hour. Never canceled a one-on-one. By every visible measure she was functioning. But three of her seven direct reports had gone quiet in six weeks. The director came to me wondering what was wrong with her team. Nothing was wrong with her team.